Monday, December 20, 2010

Riots, Weapons, and Romance

That's a gun.
The student protests continue as tweens make a concerted effort to use Facebook as a means of organizing ditch days under the guise of revolution. Trains stations and major roadways have been blocked all over the country by students clamoring for the government to... we're still not exactly sure what they want. With no major train stations or roadways to speak of, Palermo's students sat on to the runway of the airport. It is already notorious for its terrain-induced bumpy landings without a group of smoking teens burning the minister of education in effigy.  

In other political news, Slick Silvio Berlusconi survived a vote of confidence last week by 3 votes (314-311), ensuring that he can continue to cavort and gallivant with underage women without losing power. Bill Clinton is expected to apply for Italian citizenship in the near future.

WikiLeaks revealed a bromance between Berlusconi and Vladimir Putin (they often exchange lavish gifts and energy contracts), which left Bush II feeling slighted after "getting a sense of Putin's soul" when he gazed into his eyes over vodka and caviar.  

Palermo celebrated the Feast of San Lucia last Monday, in which the entire city only eats arancini (deep fried risotto, butter, cheese, and proscuitto) for an entire day. I am trying to think of an American equivalent for this holiday, but I think we would have to celebrate President Taft's birthday (September 15) by only eating award winning fair food, which would leave us with a menu of fried butter, fried Oreos, fried cookie dough, fried, bacon, and sausage stuffed zucchini corn dogs.  We should avoid bathtubs on this day.  

While trolling the apartment's various nooks and crannies, we discovered a slightly depleted box of 12-gauge shot gun shells in the back of a closet. We are uncertain of how to square this archaeological find with the purported grandmother that occupied the premises for the 75 years prior to our arrival, so we're sticking with the image of her eradicating the neighborhood pigeon population from her perch on the balcony. With a cigarette and a moo moo, of course.  

The holidays are alive and well in our apartment after Blake and I dragged an 8-foot Douglas Fur across 3 lanes of traffic and 6 blocks before stuffing it into an elevator for the last stretch. 
  
We're looking forward to imminent landing of the Perry family in Rome(!), as well as scattered showers Christmas morning with temperatures in the mid-60s.

In describing to one of the Jesuit priests how excited she was for her family to arrive, Meredith invoked a version of excitement traditionally reserved for the bedroom rather than the type of excitement associated with one's enthusiasm.  Merry Christmas Padre Alesandro!

Holiday pictures and stories to follow before the New Year. Have an incredible holiday season, we love and miss everyone that reads this!

8 comments:

  1. Merry Christmas! Have a fun time with family.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes indeedie-today's entry made me laugh out loud in several places and I loved the sharing of Fresno absolute fair food but your description took it to the next level!!! I am beyond giddy at the prospect of our all being together again and for Christmas in mere-not Meredith's nickname- hours !!!!!!! yay!!
    xoxoxoxo momjean xoxoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. best post ever.

    all i can do is picture an older woman on her balcony wearing a moo moo and smoking a cig, while shooting at birds. classic. and so gangster.

    but seriously, these student riots are inSANE! for whatever reason they are protesting, I pray it gets resolved soon and no one is seriously hurt.

    have so much fun with the Perry family you two!!
    merry, happy holidays!
    love!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love and hugs to you both from Palo Alto. Wishing you the very best this Christmas! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  5. Its Gangsta Gran!!! Love it! You'll soon find her violin case complete with sub-machine gun Im sure, after all it IS Mafiosa country!! Have a wonderful holiday K and M, and extend my greetings to the Perrys when they arrive soon. Speak soon lovely people, Love Martin xxx

    ReplyDelete
  6. I didn't think Europeans owned guns? It must be a tourist from Michigan... or Texas I suppose.

    Merry Christmas!

    ReplyDelete
  7. If Grannie really had lived there for 75 years, then she wasn't always a moo-moo-wearing Grannie; she could have once been a hot babe with a gun, like a movie poster with Mila Jojovich... just sayin'...

    I didn't know Douglas's had Fur (sorry - couldn't resist).

    Brilliant post Kris. Hope you're having a memorable holiday season! We'll miss you and Mer when we meet up with most of the Kohl clan Jan 30th.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Love and miss you both!

    ReplyDelete